What Is Love?

The Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman (Eros) in Greek—and the unselfish love of others (Agape), are often contrasted as "ascending" and "descending" love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.

There are several Greek words for "Love" that are regularly referred to in Christian circles.

* Agape: In the New Testament, is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love, seen as creating goodness in the world; it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another.

* Phileo: Also used in the New Testament, Phileo is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as "Brotherly Love."

* Two other words for love in the Greek language, Eros (sexual love) and Storge (child-to-parent love), were never used in the New Testament.

Christians believe that to Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life, (the greatest commandments of the Bible, according to Jesus; Mark 12:28–34).

The Apostle Paul glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing the essence of love, and the 14 characteristics of it he wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." (1 Cor. 13:4–7)

• Love suffers long, having patience with imperfect people.
• Love is kind, active in doing good.
• Love does not envy; since it is nonpossessive and noncompetitive, it actually wants other people to get ahead. Hence, it does not parade itself.
• Love has a self-effacing quality; it is not ostentatious.
• Love is not puffed up, treating others arrogantly; it does not behave rudely, but displays good manners and courtesy.
• Love does not seek its own rights and demanding precedence; rather it is unselfish.
• Love is not provoked; it is not irritable or touchy, rough, or hostile, but is graceful under pressure.
• Love thinks no evil; it does not keep an account of wrongs done to it; instead it erases resentments.
• Love does not rejoice in iniquity, finding satisfaction in the shortcomings of others and spreading an evil report; rather, it rejoices in the truth, aggressively advertising the good.
• Love bears all things, defending and holding other people up.
• Love believes the best about others; credits them with good intentions, and is not suspicious.
• Love hopes all things, never giving up on people, but affirming their future.
• Love endures all things, persevering and remaining loyal to the end.

The Apostle John wrote, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the Name of God's one and only Son." (John 3:16–18)

• True love is not conditional, it is unconditional.
• It covers a multitude of sin.
• Love is a choice.

John also wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7–8)

One must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust is an overindulgence, but to love and be loved is what is sought for our entire lives. One does fall in love and is loved back, by God. The only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as “jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.” To love God is “to attain the peace which is yours.”

God is the source of love, which is mirrored in humans and their own loving relationships.

"God is love." All human beings, are created in the image of God, who is love, are able to practice love; to give themselves to God and to others (Agape) and by receiving and experiencing God's love in contemplation, and expectation, (which is a form of Eros). This life of love, is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them. Without love, the most magnificent manifestation of gifts and the most heroic self-sacrificing mean nothing.
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Abiding In Christ!

.....John 15: 1-8 says, "I am the true vine, and My Father is the vine dresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples."

.....This passage of scripture speaks a lot about abiding in Christ. Let's look at this in a human perspective that fits us for today.

.....Suppose a person is weak. He has fallen into temptation and sin. For example - An Addict or An Alcoholic. He has made a real mess of things; and he is on his way down to a degenerate mind and heart, giving up on life, even to the point of suicide. Now suppose that he has a friend of a strong, lovely, and loving nature, who rescues him from his degraded situation. There is only one way in which he can retain his reformation and keep himself on the right path.

How you might ask?

.....He must keep contact with his friend. If he loses that contact; all of his weakness will eventually overcome him. The old temptations will rear their ugly head again, and he will fall. His salvation, ( or victory), lies in his continual contact with the strength of his friend. Many times a down and out person has been helped by someone, and while in their presence was safe, but when they went out on their own, they fell, or messed up.

.....The main point I would like to bring to your attention today is that we must keep in touch with strength of our friend, Jesus Christ. Abiding in Christ means something like what I have just explained. The secret of the strength and life of Jesus was His continuous contact with God. Again and again, He withdrew into a solitary place to meet and commune with Him. We must do the same with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We cannot do this unless we take deliberate steps, and decisions to make make it happen.

.....An example of this would be to set aside a specific time, like first thing in the morning, to pray and devote that time to God through studying His word, establishing your relationship with Him, and gaining focus for what may lay ahead of you for the day. This ultimately allows us to "Walk in the Spirit", not fulfilling the lust of the flesh.

.....For most of us, we will need a constant contact with Him, and a complete lifestyle change. It will mean rearranging our lives completely in such a way that there will never be a day when we give ourselves a chance to forget Him.

.....Our Christian Discipleship Program is about changing men's lives forever and making Disciples for Christ. There are two distinct things about being a disciple:

1. A disciple enriches his own life; his constant contact with God, through Christ, makes him a fruitful branch.

God's expectation for us is to bear fruit, not to produce it. Our faith is known to others through the good deeds that overflow from our character which is developed through Truth, and Relationship.

2. This in turn brings glory to God; the sight of His life in us turns men's thoughts to God, who created us to be in His image and likeness.

For the greatest glory of Christian life is that by our life and conduct, we can bring glory to Him.

.....One thing is clear from this passage of scripture. What Jesus calls us to do is impossible, without Him. Not difficult, not simply a struggle, not just hard, it is impossible. For apart from Him, we can do nothing, not a little, not a few things, but nothing.
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A Man of Heroic Endurance 2

Part 2

.....God is permitting things in our life today, all for His glory and ultimately, our good. As we continue in our Bible study of Job, we see that God is doing something, without Job knowing. The Bible takes us up to Heaven to see what is going on in the Throne Room of God. Let's observe the dialogue between God and Satan, which means adversary or accuser.

.....Satan appears before God and the Sons of God, and God asks him, "What have you been doing?" Satan replies, "Going to and fro on the Earth and walking back and forth on it." Now remember, God knows this, just like when He knew all the things that happened when He was talking to Adam in the Garden of Eden. God also asked Satan about Job, knowing that he was like no one else on the Earth, a servant of God, blameless and upright man, who feared God and shunned away from evil. Satan basically said that Job had a hedge of complete protection around him. Divine favoritism, on his body, his family, and his possessions, as well as all his works being blessed. But he challenged God by telling Him that if He stripped him of those things, that he would surely turn on Him. So God said basically, " Let's see what he is made of." God then gave Satan permission to attack and touch Job in the 3 areas of his life, his family, his material things, and his health. So Satan set out on his mission, as an adversary, to strip Job of everything he valued in life, destroying him and bringing disgrace to God.

Let's look at 4 principles that we can gain from this today:

1. There is an enemy we encounter that we can not see. Some of the most real things in life we will never see. His strategy is to play tricks on your mind and bring you down and is willing to do whatever it takes. He wants to ruin your testimony, destroy your life and bring disgrace to God, who created you in His image.

2. There are trials that we endure and God permits things we do not deserve. We are not to try to grasp or change God's profound plan, because we are not able to that. We will only become more confused, ultimately resentful, and finally bitter. This will allow Satan, our adversary to win. We are to accept the trial as permitted by God, for our discipline, and our reshaping, all for His glory, and ultimately for our good. Nothing touches our lives that first has not past through the hands of God. This is either true, or God is partially sovereign, and we know that is not true. God is sovereign.

3. There is a plan we can explore that we will never truly understand, but it is for our best. It all works together for our good, but is not altogether God. God is working right now, and He does not need to explain it all to us. If we knew it all, we still would not completely understand it, and probably mess it up anyway. Sometimes, it is the permission of a demonic attack. Why? I do not know.

The bottom line is that it is a battle of Good vs. Evil.

So, just come to terms with it. Acknowledge it, and seek the power you have in the Lord Jesus. Do not try to understand it.

.....Satan is not just a spy traversing the Earth intent on ferreting out all that he can discover. He is a spirit of malice and wickedness aiming to pervert men from the right ways of God, and destroy all goodness, as far as he can within his power and permission.

.....There is a profound meaning in his appearing among the Sons of God, before the Lord. It was revealed to us through the Word of God, to show us his subordination and subjection to Divine control. He can not act on his own discretion. He is not at liberty to pursue his own agenda to whatever extent he may choose. There is a superior restraint to which he obliged to bow. A superior Will that sets limits to his reign. He can only operate within these limits. His actions are also for a Divine end, by which he has been made to be instrumental in achieving. He is the enemy of Goodness and Humanity. With the powers of an Arc Angel, and the malice and subtlety of a fiend, he is intent on our destruction, and hesitates at nothing to which he can accomplish his goals. He pursues his targets with sleepless vigilance. Invisible to human eyes, he has all the advantages of secrecy, attacking his victims who are unaware.

He never sleeps. He never rests. He never takes it easy. He never takes you out of the cross hairs of his scope. He knows you better than you know yourself. He is permitted by God to do it.

4. There are consequences we experience and can not anticipate, but they are necessary. We are all going through struggles in our life today, things which we do not deserve.

We did not ask for it. We did not anticipate it. We did not think it would happen.

GUESS WHAT?

.....You have just entered Job's turf. Whatever you are going through right now, has been prepared for you by God for a reason and a purpose. So I would ask you to pay close attention to the teachings and study of this book.

.....The Good News is that for all of you who know the Lord Jesus, you have a power within, (Christ), that others who do not know him have. They are at the mercy of the enemy, who has no mercy, and you are not. Greater is He who is in you,(Christ), than he who is in this world,(Satan). In the name of the Lord Jesus, you are able to restrain and withstand the attacks of the enemy.
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A Man of Heroic Endurance

Part 1

.....Job loved and feared God, and disciplined his life according to that belief. This bible study of Job will show God's faithful and sovereign hand over us today.

.....God tests us but never disgraces us. He strengthens us and matures us through the trials and tribulations He allows in our life. His plans for our life are never cruel or dishonest. He always has our best interest at heart, though the journey to get us there is sometimes shockingly surprising.

.....Life is difficult for a lot of us today. Some would even say it is unfair, or intolerable. Our drive for justice today overrides our patience in pain. This is why the Bible is so relevant for us today.

.....Job is important to us not only because he suffered, but because he suffered in the same ways that we all suffer today. That would be in the vital areas of family, personal health, and material things. It is just not the suffering as such that troubles us, it is the undeserved suffering.

.....Let me explain further. When we have done wrong, we get punished, a sense of justice. We experience discipline connected with wrong doing. An example of this would be like when we disobeyed our parents when we were young.

.....Through life though, there is no correlation with the amount of wrong we commit and with the amount of pain we experience.

.....Very often it is the opposite. We do right and get knocked down. We do the best we are capable of doing, and just as we are reaching out to receive our reward, we are hit from the blind side and sent reeling. This is exactly what happened to Job. Life became unfair.

.....Job was a man well deserved of prosperity. A good, priestly and rich man, trusting in God and caring for others. He was a fine husband and faithful father. Blameless in the eyes of God and did not compromise with moral evil. He handled business with integrity, was respected by those around him, upright, fearing God, and turning away from evil.

.....But in a quick and brutal sweep of calamities, he is reduced to a twisted mass of brokenness and grief. The extraordinary accumulation of back to back disasters which would have been enough to finish off any one of us. Job is left penniless, homeless, helpless, and childless. Insult and injury are also added to his experience.

.....He was a man tried not because of his unrighteousness, but in spite of his righteousness. A trial to establish his righteousness, and to give him a deeper insight into his relationship with God. Also a greater understanding of his own nature, Job 1:8.

.... Job had 3 friends arrive and sit and stare at him for 7 days. At first, they don't recognize him, and when they spoke, they had nothing but blame for him. They basically said, "You are getting what you deserve," which would have been bad enough, but misery turned to mystery with God's silence. However long that took, even if it were for just a few months, would have been unbearable. Words from friends can be hard to listen to, but the silence from God would been truly intolerable. Imagine, nothing coming to him by way of comfort, from God or man, and he had done nothing to deserve such pain.
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Paul's Thorn

.....Have you ever wondered what Paul's thorn was, or why he had it. I've been meditating on this in my personal studies and would like to share it with you today. Let's start by looking at the Scriptures. 2 Corinthians 12:7 says "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of Revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me (an assault of the enemy). Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in the infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

.....The communication Paul had with God in this instance was an expression denoting fear. An intense wearying, difficulty, or affliction that bothered him enough to ask God for help. God was overseeing the entire process. So that Paul would forever rely on God and not think of himself as a god from the Revelations he was receiving. The thorn represented the curse noted in Genesis 3:18. This is also revealed in Isaiah 55:12-13 and says "For you shall go out with joy and be led out with peace, (God's Joy and Peace). The mountains and the hills ( those things that stand in your way, obstacles), shall break forth into singing (the Joy of the Lord) before you, and all the trees (men) of the field (where the Harvest is) shall clapped their hands (Praise God). Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, and instead of the briar shall come up the myrtle tree (strong men of God, out of the curse, bearing good fruit); and it shall be to the Lord for a name (Jesus), an everlasting sign it shall not be cut off." This symbolically depicts creations (man's) joy at God's redemptive work, the reign of Christ, in Luke 2:13-14, and creation itself being delivered from the bondage of corruption in Romans 8:21.

.....The thorn ultimately served a good purpose, teaching Paul of the overcoming grace, (unmerited favor), of God which was always enough in his own weakness. Note that God did not remove the thorn or indicate that He was upset at Paul for asking and pleading for its removal. God actually responded differently than that in which Paul prayed and expected. Paul ultimately realized that whenever Satan buffets him, either directly as a destructive adversary or indirectly as God's controlled agent, (as with Job) it was always to bring about character development. God's character. That is why all things work for the good of God.

.....So Paul boasted in his infirmities because of the grace in which he received through the understanding of the Finished Work of the Cross, (Christ). God's strength was sufficient enough to enable him to continue in his Apostolic ministry and calling. Nothing could or would stop him to cease serving God. And that is why he was able to take pleasure when he felt personally weak. He had a Revelation that he was strong in Christ.

.....Proverbs 22:5 says "Thorns and snares are in a way of the perverse; but he who guards his soul (mind, will, and emotions,) will be far from them." Life is always in inner battle within the soul. A constant conflict between the demands of passion and the control of reason. I am dead but Christ lives in me. I must renew my mind through the Word of God to the Truth. Bringing about inner perfection, (Salvation of the Soul) and victory. This must be done by relationship not religion.

.....In John 19:2 its says "The soldiers twisted a crown of thorns and put it on His (Jesus') head." We know from earlier Scriptures that the thorns represented the curse. And it being placed on his head represents the war that encompasses the mind (the battle within). Jesus took those things that we war against in our minds to the Cross and replaced it with Peace. In John 14:27 its says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as a world gives (a false sense) do I give you. Let your heart be not troubled, neither let it be afraid." This is the peace that surpasses all understanding. For He himself is our Peace. ( Ephesians 2:14)

.....We must see ourselves Crucified with Christ and Him living in us. He alone can enable us to rise to the standard which He himself has set before us. This is the peace we have by Faith. (Romans 5:1) No matter what thorns, (physical, mental, or spiritual) trials or tribulations we may have in our own lives.
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ARE YOU A DISCIPLE?

.....The first commitment of a disciple is to " Deny" himself. He must renounce his self-centered life, clearing out all of self for Christ. Nothing can be more important to us than Christ. ( A Christ centered life.) The circle above represents your life. Christ should fill up the entire circle. To abide in Christ means that He is to have priority in everything in your life. Christian life is simply Christ living in you, (John 15: 5, John 15: 10) and through you. God has provided a way for Christ to be at the center of your life. This is the second commitment. "Take up your cross daily." Bearing your cross and serving others requires discipline. The above diagram reveals what disciplines a disciple must have.

1. The Word

.....The first discipline that we must have in our lives is "Living in the Word of God." The way to have Christ living in us is to have His Word in us. John 8: 31 - 32 says - "If you continue in My Word, then ye our My disciples indeed; and ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free." The Word of God is food for us. We cannot grow unless we have a regular intake of it. This is done by listening to someone preach it, and by reading it, studying it, memorizing it, meditating it, and then applying it. The result is a continuous process of renewing the mind, thus causing a behavioral change. John 15: 10 says- "That to abide in Christ is to obey Him." This is a crucial step in establishing a close relationship with God.

2. Prayer

.....The second discipline that we must have in our lives is "Praying," ( In Faith.) Faith that is drawn from the first discipline, ( His Word.) A part of living in Christ is living in prayer. John 15: 7 says -"If ye abide in Me, and My Word abides in you, ye shall ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you." So when we abide in Christ and His Word abides in us, we can ask what we will and God will do it. And open line of communication established between us and God through the Finished Work of the Cross ( Christ.) Refer to the above diagram and notice that God reveals himself and communicates to us through His Word (Christ.) and we communicate to God through prayer. Note the direction (Up to God and Down to us).

3. Fellowship

.....The third discipline that we must have in our lives is "Fellowship with Believers", our brothers and sisters in Christ. John 13:34 - 35 says - "A new commandment I give unto you, that you help one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know the ye our My disciples, if ye have love one to another." God has provided the ideal place for us to grow and mature, - The Church. A body of believers that have made a covenant to carry out Christ's ministry in and throughout the world. The Church is the body of Christ. So we come together to form the body here on the earth. Equipping those to fulfill the callings on their life. Praising and Worshiping God corporately, and equipping the Saints to go and preach the gospel - "The Good News."

4. Witnessing

.....The fourth discipline that we must have in our lives is "Witnessing to the World". Sharing Christ with others. John 15: 8 says - "Herein is My Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples." A disciple will bear much fruit and that fruit is to be a witness to the world; our testimony, a living epistle to glorify God. The outward expression of an inward change from renewing the mind to what is true of it. The "Salvation of the Soul", or victory of the mind, will, and emotions, through Christ in the Finished Work of the Cross. Through applying these disciplines of living daily in the Word of God, praying in faith and fellowship with God's people, it will become natural and normal to share with others the Christ who is living in our hearts. This is what will make us fishers of men. Hence a true behavioral change.

.....The third commitment mentioned in Luke 9: 23 says - "That if we "Follow" and live in Christ, we will eventually bear fruit." Fruit does not necessarily grow quickly, but it grows continually and bears in season. Fruit bearing is the normal, natural result of the life that has Christ at the center of it. This is produced by the Holy Spirit and is what is called our sphere of influence. This growth is a continuous expansion across the earth equally proportional to the relationship we have with God through Jesus Christ. Fruit-bearing not only consists of good deeds and helping others, it also relates to the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Long-suffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, and Temperance, leading to ministry and service of all kinds. As noted from the diagram, only you limit yourself with God.

.....Our goal in discipleship is expressed in 2 Timothy 2: 21 and says - "If a man therefore purge himself from these (his old ways), ye shall be a vessel unto honor, sanctified, and able for the Master's use, and prepared onto every good work." These disciplines will develop lives that will produce good fruit, as well as balance, according to the Word of God, making true disciples.

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WHAT GOD HAS SHOWN ME...About Marriage

Good marriages don't just happen. It is not just because you married the right person and got lucky. Good marriages are built on more than passion. They are built on principle.

In the Scriptures, we find the best guidelines and principles for a healthy marriage. God's words and God's principles are never ever outdated...never! They are just as applicable today as they were to ancient Jews living in Israel.

I want to point us to principles God has given us in a place you might not think was intended for marriage. That place is the Ten Commandments, found in Exodus 20.

Let me give you those Ten Commandments. What I would like you to do is spend time reading these carefully, and then take time to pray over each one. Ask God to begin to open your heart to see how these commands could be looked at as principles for marriage. I had a friend who challenged me to do the same, and I was amazed at what I discovered.

You shall have no other gods before Me.

You shall not make for yourself a carved image...

You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain...

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.

You shall not murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

The First Commandment of Marriage: Exclusivity

The first of the Ten Commandments is simply this, as found in Exodus 20:3,

"You shall have no other gods before Me."

What is God saying in this commandment? That He wants to have an exclusive relationship with you. He wants to be your one and only. He will not settle for flavor of the month.

And how appropriate in marriage as well. We are to have an exclusive relationship with our spouse.

It's been said that Henry Ford, on his golden wedding anniversary...50 years of marriage...was asked, "What's the secret of your success in marriage?" And he said, "The secret of my successful marriage is the same secret that I have in business: I stick to the same model."

In traditional wedding vows, the man and woman pledge their devotion until death parts them. For life. There is no competition.

My wife has no competition. I am not shopping for a new model. I do not want to trade in the old model. I will not be shopping in the future. One is all I need.

The Second Commandment of Marriage: Don't Love a Substitute

In the second commandment recorded in Exodus 20:4-6, we are given the second principle for a strong marriage,

"You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments."

God commanded that there be no carved images, whether in heaven, in earth, or in the sea. He wanted to make sure everything was covered. And He said not to bow down to them and worship them. God said, "Do not make images of Me and then worship them. Don not love or worship a substitute for Me. Love Me."

Religion has made pictures, statues, and idols and then called them holy. They are all imitations. They are all substitutes. And in marriage we should have no substitutes either.

Pornography is a substitute. When a man watches pornography, he is loving a substitute. He is directing his passion and his sexuality toward those images. That is a substitute, and he is robbing his wife of that intimacy.

Do not allow any substitute, no matter what it might be, to take the place of intimacy with your spouse.

The Third Commandment of Marriage: Speak Well of Your Mate

Exodus 20:7 gives us our third commandment of marriage,

"You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain."

Many misunderstand the term, in vain. It means empty, meaningless, insincere, not showing due respect.

When we speak flippantly or lightly about someone, we erode our respect for that person. Some people are just far too casual in the way they speak of their spouse, and it erodes your respect for him or her.

In marriage, few things can affect the relationship like words. Words are containers. They can contain love; they can contain hate; they can contain joy; they can contain bitterness.

The book of James says that our tongue is like a rudder on a ship. It will send the ship of your marriage in whatever direction your words go. Some people are on the brink of divorce because they talk divorce. Just listen to the words they say. Are they negative or positive? Critical or encouraging?

Think about what you say. Are you building up your partner? Learn to speak well of your mate. Build them up with your words. Be lavish with your praise. You will be pleased with where those words will take your relationship.

The Fourth Commandment of Marriage: Spend Exclusive Time Together

The fourth commandment, found in Exodus 20:8-11,

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it."

Sabbath means an intermission. It means to put down your work and rest. Take a break. And holy means separate to the Lord. "If you want a long-term relationship with Me," God says, "We have to have time together. I want special time, exclusive time. I want a whole day."

In the same way, in order to have a healthy, growing marriage, husbands and wives need time together...special time, exclusive time, sometimes extravagant time. And I think we all know that if we do not schedule it, it will not happen.

If your marriage is to thrive, you need to spend exclusive time together. You can't build a relationship and not spend time together. It is just not possible.

The Fifth Commandment of Marriage: Honor Your Spouse by Showing How Grateful You Are

The fifth commandment gives us our next principle for a healthy and vibrant marriage. It is found in Exodus 20:12,

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you."

Among other things, God is saying we must be grateful. Generally, parents spend a lot of time, labor, and money...sometimes to the point of radical sacrifice...to give their kids an edge in life.

And it is a tragedy when a child is ungrateful or unthankful. William Shakespeare said, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child." It is very difficult to have a relationship with an ungrateful, selfish person.

"Thank you" are important words to your parents, and an incredibly important phrase in marriage. It is difficult to live with someone who takes you and all of your efforts for granted.

You may be thinking, "I don't say it, but I am grateful in my heart. I truly am!" Well, hooray for you. You are blessed because in your heart you know you are grateful. But it does your spouse no good if you do not vocalize it.

If you do not demonstrate your gratitude, I doubt if you are really grateful because Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." If it is not being expressed, chances are it is not truly there.

Maybe you think you don't have a lot to be grateful for. But there must be something you can say "thank you" for. There is something you can praise your mate for. Look for those things, and accentuate the positive.

Take time today to express thanks to your spouse in some way...through an action, through a card, through words. That is how you honor your mate.

The Sixth Commandment of Marriage: Don't Destroy Your Spouse But Learn to be Gentle

The sixth commandment God gave to Israel in Exodus 20:13,
"You shall not murder."

While you might think this commandment is not too applicable, I believe it is vital. It is telling you not to destroy your spouse!

Jesus helps us understand this principle in Matthew 5. He said, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.' But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment."

Jesus went right to the root of murder: anger and hatred. If you are going to have a good, healthy, lasting marriage, you need to learn to be gentle. People who are easily angered...who are violent or have an explosive temper...destroy relationships.

If you are dating someone who blows up easily, you ought to take it as a warning sign. If they get mad at things at the drop of a hat, that anger can be turned on you very easily.

Anger erodes relationships. If you have a hot temper, get it under control, or the devil will control you through it.

Another way anger is expressed is by going stone cold...using silence and angry moodiness to punish your mate. Again, not a healthy thing for a marriage. If you anger quickly and forgive slowly, you are a hard person to live with. Work at being quick to forgive, and make the controlling of your anger a serious matter of prayer. God will help you.

If you do not master your temper, it will master you. And it will not only decay and destroy a marriage relationship, it will harm every other meaningful relationship you have in life.

We're going to skip the Seventh Commandment here -- "Do Not Commit Adultery"

-- to address it in a more in-depth manner

The Eighth Commandment of Marriage: Be a Person of Integrity

Exodus 20:15 gives us the eighth commandment for marriage,
You shall not steal.

You may be wondering how stealing applies to marriage. Simple. Not to steal is to be a person of integrity.

If you are always cheating or cutting corners, it will be hard for your spouse to respect you. Your uprightness should make your marriage partner feel proud. Your spouse and your family ought to testify of your integrity. This is really one of the things at the heart of a good marriage.

If you are married to somebody, and you know they cheat their customers, it is just hard to respect that person. You cannot respect someone who does not have integrity.

This is a big issue that many people fly right by. But it is vital to a healthy and vibrant marriage because it is hard to fully give yourself to someone who does not have integrity.

If you find that your spouse is holding back, if you feel like he or she does not respect you, take a look inside and see if you are compromising with your integrity. Do you cheat on your taxes? Do you tell that "little white lie" to protect yourself or gain an advantage?
Do you represent yourself one way, when in fact in your heart you believe something totally different? Are you like the man Solomon speaks of in Proverbs 23:7?

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. "Eat and drink!" he says to you, but his heart is not with you.

If this is an issue in your life, take it to God today. He will help you become the person of integrity He desires you to be. And when you do, you will find your spouse will come to respect you, and your marriage will be strengthened!

The Ninth Commandment of Marriage: Be Truthful

The ninth commandment for marriage speaks to the heart of any marriage, trust. It is found in Exodus 20:16,

"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

Someone who would lie about their neighbor, for whatever reason, is not going to make a good marriage partner. Honesty and trust are at the heart of a good marriage.

If you take advantage of people for your own gain, speaking untruthfully to get ahead, you are not a person to be trusted. And you ultimately are the loser.

I am reminded of the guy who was in a fender bender, and he faked an injury, pretended like he hurt his arm and his shoulder. As a result, the poor little lady who had run into his car was subjected to a truly horrible situation. She was grilled by attorneys, had to give depositions, and ended up in court.

But this guy continued trying to take her for all she was worth. He didn't care because he knew she had money. He didn't care if she had to give up her house. He was looking at an opportunity to get rich.The attorney for the lady's insurance company put him on the stand and said, "I would like to know, since the accident, since you injured your arm and your shoulder, how far can you now raise your arm?"With great pain etched on his face, he said, "Well...'bout here. That's it. Just to here." Then the attorney asked, "Well, how far could you lift it before the accident?" The guy responded, raising his arm with ease, "I could lift it up to here."
Needless to say, he lost.

Anyone who is not truthful will ultimately lose. And if your spouse will lie to someone else, he or she will lie to you.

The Tenth Commandment of Marriage: Be Content with What You Have

Today we come to the final commandment for marriage. That commandment is based on the tenth commandment given to the nation of Israel in Exodus 20:17,

"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

This command is very direct. Do not covet. Don't be discontent with what you have. Do not make what you don't have the focus of your life. Accentuate what you do have and what God has blessed you and your spouse with.

You do this by celebrating your husband's or wife's strengths and giftings rather than thinking, "Oh, I wish he was this way," or, "I wish she had that."

I can build a house from the ground up; and if anything mechanical breaks down, I can fix it.

While I am a Mr. Fix-It, there are other things that I am not good at. I am so grateful that Lora wanted to pull those things out of me and give wings to the gifts, ( In Christ) she saw that I do have. And I want to do the same thing for her.

You will always get into trouble if you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Just water your own grass. Because on the other side of the fence, it's just Astroturf anyway.

I struggled with drugs while searching for answers. It was not until I was 40 years of age(13 AUGUST, 2008) and thinking about my 3 blessed children and my soulmate that the Lord showed me the powerful reality of a relationship with Christ. Since August 13, 2008, the Lord has opened my eyes to the Answers (FREEDOM IN CHRIST) which I will prophetically fulfill in Christ, spreading the gospel to the nations around the world, blowing the horn, with a clear sounding word.

When God made man, He said it is good. But then He said, "It is not good that he is alone. I am going to make a helper suitable for him." And the Bible says God took one of Adam's ribs, and He formed a woman, Eve, and brought her to the man.

God did not take four or five ribs and say, "Okay, Adam, here is Eve, and here is Lois, and here is Samantha, and here is Rachel." No, it was just one. And to have a healthy marriage relationship, that is it.

My dream is not up in the sky or up in the stars when I look up, it is right here in my heart. (In Christ)

I am committed for life. An exclusive relationship. I am not shopping, not even window-shopping. One God. One wife. That is enough.

I LOVE YOU LORA, YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND FOREVER- ED

Ambassador for Christ
Pastor Edward Hajj