Child Rearing - According To The Word Of God!

Everywhere we look, there is an article or book about how to raise children. An author will strongly give one opinion, and another writer will just as strongly give another. Some support old fashioned values, others think we need to loosen up. What are parents supposed to believe? We have the desire to bring our children up well, wanting them to be godly, responsible, productive, and successful adults. We want them to be a joy to us, and not bring us a lifetime of grief. But how do we achieve that? How do we get the wisdom needed for such an awesome responsibility?

Let's look to the Bible as our infallible source of advice. Why not get our guidance from God, who created our children, and knows exactly what they need? Here are a few of the many scriptural guidelines for raising our children.

OUR DUTIES AS PARENTS

1. To love them (Titus 2:4)

2. To bring them to Christ (Matthew 19:13,14)

3. To train them up for God (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4)

4. To instruct them in God's word (Deuteronomy 4:9; 11:19; Isaiah 38:19)

5. To tell them of God's judgments (Joel 1:3)

6. To tell them of the miraculous works of God (Exodus 10:2; Psalms 78:4)

7. To command them to obey God (Deuteronomy 32:46; 1 Chronicles 28:9)

8. To bless them (Genesis 48:15; Hebrews 11:20)

9. To pity them (Psalms 103:13)

10. To provide for them (Job 42:15; 2 Corinthians 12:14; 1 Timothy 5:8)

11. To rule them (1 Timothy 3:4,12)

12. To correct them (Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 23:13; 29:17; Hebrews 12:7)

13. Not to provoke them (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21)

14. Pray for them (Lamentations 2:19)

RESULTS OF GODLY PARENTING

1. They will not bring their parents shame. (Proverbs 29:15)

2. They will not depart from Christian teaching when they are older. (Proverbs 22:6)

3. They will have great peace. (Isaiah 54:13)

4. They will bring us joy. (Proverbs 15:20)

5. They will give us peace and delight to our soul. (Proverbs 29:17)

6. They will rise up and call us blessed. (Proverbs 31:28)

7. Keeping God's commands will help prolong their lives, bring them prosperity, and win them favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:1,2,4)

Who would not want all these wonderful benefits for their children? Yet, we are only human. How can we accomplish all this? Let's remember these promises.

1. If you lack wisdom, ask God and He will give it to you. (James 1:5)

2. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13)

3. Pray! The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

More Scriptures Concerning this.....

Proverbs 3:12
For whom the LORD loves he corrects; even as a father the son in whom he delights.

Proverbs 10:1
A wise son makes a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.

Proverbs 13:22
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.

Proverbs 13:24
He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him betimes.

Proverbs 15:20
A wise son makes a glad father: but a foolish man despises his mother.

Proverbs 17:2
A wise servant shall have rule over a son that causes shame, and shall have part of the inheritance among the brethren.

Proverbs 17:25
A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.

Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.

Proverbs 19:18
Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 19:26
He that wastes his father, and chases away his mother, is a son that causes shame, and brings reproach.

Proverbs 19:27
Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causes to err from the words of knowledge.

Proverbs 20:11
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

Proverbs 20:20
Who ever curses his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beats him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 23:15-16
My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine. Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.

Proverbs 23:24
The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begs a wise child shall have joy of him.

Proverbs 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.

Proverbs 29:17
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Proverbs 29:21
He that delicately brings up his servant from a child shall have him become his son at the length.

In conclusion, we don't have to be confused and unstable in our child rearing. By bringing up our children according to the Bible, we will all enjoy the benefits, both now and eternally!

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Experiencing Life Together! (In Christ)

Each one of you is part of the Body of Christ, and you were chosen to live together in peace.
Colossians 3:15

How wonderful it is, how pleasant, for God's people to live together in harmony! Psalm 133:1

.....Life is meant to be shared. God intends for us to experience life together. The bible calls this shared experience fellowship. The true meaning of fellowship includes unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting, and all the other "one another" commands found in the New Testament.

.....Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It is genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing. It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

.....People wear masks today. They keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real fellowship. It is only as we become open about our lives that we can experience real fellowship with God and others.

.....The Bible says, "If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other... If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves.

.....The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. Darkness is used to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are. This requires two things, courage and humility. It means facing our fears of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.

So why would anyone take such a risk today?

Because it is the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy.

.....The Bible says, "Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed."

.....We can only grow by taking risks, and the most difficult risk of all is to be honest with ourselves, God, and others. Nothing ventured, is nothing gained.

.....In real fellowship, we also experience mutuality. The art of giving and receiving, or depending on each other. Mutuality is the heart of fellowship. It includes the aspects of building reciprocal relationships, sharing responsibilities, and helping each other. The Bible is very clear on this subject, commanding us (over 50 times) in the areas of mutual accountability, encouragement, serving, and honoring. We are not responsible for everyone in the Body of Christ, but we are responsible to them. God expects us always to do whatever we can to help them. See a need, meet it.

.....In real fellowship, we also experience sympathy. Sympathy, or as some call empathy, is entering in and sharing the pain of others. Sympathy says, "I understand what you are going through, and what you feel is neither strange or crazy." The Bible says that we as Holy people are to be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs: the need to be understood, and the need to have your feelings validated. Every time you understand and affirm someone's feelings, you build a new level of fellowship with that person. This increases your level of intimacy (IN-TO-ME-SEE) with them. It is in the times of deep crisis, grief, and doubt, that we need each other most. When circumstances crush us to the point that we find our faith in question, that is when we need believing friends the most. Friends who have faith in God for us, and to help pull us through. The Body of Christ is real and tangible for us today, even when God may seem distant in our lives, or our circumstances.

.....And the last thing I wish to share with you concerning real fellowship, is experiencing mercy and forgiveness. Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes are not rubbed in, but rubbed out. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.

.....We all need grace and mercy today, because we all stumble and fall, and require help getting back on track. We need to offer that same mercy and grace to each other, and be willing to receive it from each other as well. God says, "When people sin, you should forgive and comfort them, so that they won't give up in despair."

.....You can't have fellowship without forgiveness, because bitterness and resentment always destroys it. Because we are all imperfect people who still sin, or miss the mark today, we will inevitably hurt each other when we are together for a long enough time, either intentionally, or sometimes unintentionally, but either way, it will take a massive amount of grace and mercy to maintain any fellowship throughout its lifetime.

.....The Bible says, " You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." God's mercy is the key and the motivation for showing mercy to others. We will never be asked to forgive someone else more than God has already forgiven us.

.....Many people today are reluctant to show mercy and grace because they do not truly understand the difference between trust and forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior.

.....Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be built over time. Trust requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. They must prove they have changed over time. The best place to restore trust is within the supportive context of a small group that offers both encouragement and accountability.

.....I hope and pray that after you read this, you step out in faith and use this message as a tool to guide yourself into a deeper aspect of fellowship, experiencing it, with God and others in the near future as you apply it in your own life and journey today, and forever.
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Easter - Resurrection Day!

.....Romans 6: 4 says, "As Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."

.....In my line of work I have often had the privilege of meeting those who are at the bottom of their life, feeling lost, abandoned, and helpless, consumed in addiction and other life-controlling issues. And through our ministry's Christian Discipleship Program, I have been blessed and able to see God's miracles everyday as these people have their lives turned completely around and transformed right before my eyes, through the power of God. Like a caterpillar coming out of a cocoon and standing before me as a beautiful butterfly, these people experience liberation from their addictions, leaving behind lifestyles of hatred, and violence, experiencing grace, embracing the faith of a better future, hope, love, joy, peace, and forgiveness, for God, themselves, and others. They have truly become a "new creation" in Christ.

How is this possible?

.....The key to their transformation is the empty tomb on Easter morning. Paul spells out the impact of that empty grave when he writes in Romans 6:4, " We were buried with Christ through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead (This is the power that was unleashed) through the glory of the Father, we too may walk and live a new life." This faith, in choosing to boldly and unswervingly believe what God has said about them, and what He has said has happened to them, frees them to live as never before, for the good of God, and others. This is why the faith of a mustard seed has the ability to move mountains out of our own lives today.

.....Easter is obviously a big deal in the life of Jesus. But it is also a big deal for you and me also. The power of the risen Lord breaks addictions, melts hatred, and gives each of us a sense of purpose to live as resurrection people, experiencing all that God has for us, heaven on earth.

.....The expression "live a new life" literally means "walk a new life." The God we serve loves to take walks. He walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden according to Genesis 3: 8. He walked with the Old Testament people through the wilderness into the promise land in Exodus 40: 36-38. In Christ, He walked the dusty streets of Palestine, and then walked out of the tomb on Easter morning. Why? So we could see the victory that took place for us, and could personally walk with Him as He led the way into a fresh new life for us to experience all that God has for us as never before.

.....I would only ask the Lord to show you the power of the victory that took place over 2000 years ago, on this Easter Sunday. Upon seeing that, I know that your life will be truly changed forever, experiencing it daily in your life, leading you and guiding you into a life of resurrection, hope and power, unlike anything you have ever experienced before.
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Paul's Thorn

.....Have you ever wondered what Paul's thorn was, or why he had it. I've been meditating on this in my personal studies and would like to share it with you today. Let's start by looking at the Scriptures. 2 Corinthians 12:7 says "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of Revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me (an assault of the enemy). Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in the infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

.....The communication Paul had with God in this instance was an expression denoting fear. An intense wearying, difficulty, or affliction that bothered him enough to ask God for help. God was overseeing the entire process. So that Paul would forever rely on God and not think of himself as a god from the Revelations he was receiving. The thorn represented the curse noted in Genesis 3:18. This is also revealed in Isaiah 55:12-13 and says "For you shall go out with joy and be led out with peace, (God's Joy and Peace). The mountains and the hills ( those things that stand in your way, obstacles), shall break forth into singing (the Joy of the Lord) before you, and all the trees (men) of the field (where the Harvest is) shall clapped their hands (Praise God). Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, and instead of the briar shall come up the myrtle tree (strong men of God, out of the curse, bearing good fruit); and it shall be to the Lord for a name (Jesus), an everlasting sign it shall not be cut off." This symbolically depicts creations (man's) joy at God's redemptive work, the reign of Christ, in Luke 2:13-14, and creation itself being delivered from the bondage of corruption in Romans 8:21.

.....The thorn ultimately served a good purpose, teaching Paul of the overcoming grace, (unmerited favor), of God which was always enough in his own weakness. Note that God did not remove the thorn or indicate that He was upset at Paul for asking and pleading for its removal. God actually responded differently than that in which Paul prayed and expected. Paul ultimately realized that whenever Satan buffets him, either directly as a destructive adversary or indirectly as God's controlled agent, (as with Job) it was always to bring about character development. God's character. That is why all things work for the good of God.

.....So Paul boasted in his infirmities because of the grace in which he received through the understanding of the Finished Work of the Cross, (Christ). God's strength was sufficient enough to enable him to continue in his Apostolic ministry and calling. Nothing could or would stop him to cease serving God. And that is why he was able to take pleasure when he felt personally weak. He had a Revelation that he was strong in Christ.

.....Proverbs 22:5 says "Thorns and snares are in a way of the perverse; but he who guards his soul (mind, will, and emotions,) will be far from them." Life is always in inner battle within the soul. A constant conflict between the demands of passion and the control of reason. I am dead but Christ lives in me. I must renew my mind through the Word of God to the Truth. Bringing about inner perfection, (Salvation of the Soul) and victory. This must be done by relationship not religion.

.....In John 19:2 its says "The soldiers twisted a crown of thorns and put it on His (Jesus') head." We know from earlier Scriptures that the thorns represented the curse. And it being placed on his head represents the war that encompasses the mind (the battle within). Jesus took those things that we war against in our minds to the Cross and replaced it with Peace. In John 14:27 its says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as a world gives (a false sense) do I give you. Let your heart be not troubled, neither let it be afraid." This is the peace that surpasses all understanding. For He himself is our Peace. ( Ephesians 2:14)

.....We must see ourselves Crucified with Christ and Him living in us. He alone can enable us to rise to the standard which He himself has set before us. This is the peace we have by Faith. (Romans 5:1) No matter what thorns, (physical, mental, or spiritual) trials or tribulations we may have in our own lives.
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THE WHOLE ARMOR OF GOD

Spiritual Warfare

.....God has designed every Christian for spiritual warfare. We are all commanded to resist the devil so that he will flee from us. We must all wrestle against principalities and powers and rulers of darkness or wickedness. In this combat, each of us must learn to endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. In a day when the Church is being challenged to a contest of power by the forces of evil, it is essential every Christian learn how to carry out effective spiritual warfare, and put on the pieces of God's Armor and stand against the devil.

The Whole Armor of God (Ephesians 6: 10 -- 20 ).

How to put on our Armor and Weapons.

.....A soldier must expend time and energy in order to put on his armor and take up his weapons. Similarly, a Christian puts on each piece of armor through precise disciplines in the Christian life. The spiritual armor of the Christian is similar to the physical armor of a soldier; however, it is of a different nature. Example -- David went out against Goliath in full armor, but all Goliath saw was a slingshot. David's armor had been forged and put on through the years of Godly disciplines which he developed in the wilderness caring for his father's sheep. ( See Psalm 78: 70-72)

1.) Belt of truth

.....Throughout history, the belt has been a symbol of strength, it is also been a means of freedom, and open times. Men wore outer garments which reached to the ground. If they ran in battle, they would be apt to step on the garments and stumble. To avoid this danger, they would raise their garments to the knee and secure them around their waist with the belt. Peter had this picture in mind when he quoted, "Gird up the loins of your mind." (1 Peter 1: 3).
Truth is also a means of freedom, as Jesus said, "And you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free." (John 8: 32) (see also -- John 14: 6 ).

The Discipline related to the Belt of Truth:

Reading the Bible daily

.....Satan is a liar and the father lies. (See John 8: 44). He will tell us lies about God, ourselves, sin, the purposes for which God made things, and about every other aspect of our life. The best way to guard ourselves from Satan's lies is to have a daily program of reading and studying God's Word. ( The Truth )

2.) Breastplate of Righteousness

.....The Roman warriors who directly engaged the enemy wore plate armor around the trunks of their bodies to protect vital organs. In the same way, Christians are directed by God to guard "Their hearts with all diligence; for out to of them are the issues of life." (Proverbs 4: 23) The plate armor was heavy and restricted motion somewhat; however, the protection it gave was necessary for the soldier's survival.

The Discipline related to the Breastplate of Righteousness:

Memorizing God's Word

.....The ability of the Word of God to protect our heart is explained in Psalm 119:11, "Thy Word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee."Satan is the accuser of the bretheren (Christians) and brings condemnation to our hearts, (attacking the mind) if we do not know how to offset it with the Truth, such as passages in Romans 8. As we memorize God's word, our hearts, (minds) are sanctified and cleansed, according to John 15: 3, "Now ye are clean through the Word which I have spoken unto you." (See also Galatians 3: 6 )

3.) Feet Shod with the Gospel

.....The foot is a symbol of authority. When a king was conquered, he would be brought to the victorious ruler and made to bow his head down to the ground. The conqueror would put his foot on the neck of his defeated foe, symbolizing that he had jurisdiction(and victory) over him and his kingdom.

The Discipline related to the Shoes of the Gospel:

Meditating on Scripture

.....Since Satan is the author of rebellion, he will do all he can to cause us to rebel. However, by engrafting Scripture into our souls,( mind, will, and emotions), we will be able to think God's thoughts,(revelation, wisdom, knowledge,) after Him. Meditation On Scripture is the way to engraft God's word into our lives so we can walk in his ways and bring peace to many others through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

4.) Shield of Faith

.....Roman shields came in various sizes and shapes, but the purpose was the same: To protect a warrior from deadly spears, arrows, and swords of the enemy. Even with the other pieces of armor, a soldier had vulnerable areas and needed the added protection of a shield to stop or deflect what would otherwise be lethal blows. The Roman shields were designed to interlock with one another. With this feature, soldier's interlock their shields over their heads and advance towards the walled cities of the enemy. The fiery darts that came down upon them from their enemies on the walls, were thus ineffective.

The Discipline related to the Shield of Faith:

Fasting Regularly

.....Satan is the one who buffets the Saints and watches for openings to attack. It takes spiritual discernment to anticipate and deflect these assaults. Such discernment comes through fasting. Jesus promised to reward openly those who fast secretly, and Isaiah 58 promises good judgment to those who fast. When Paul was buffeted by Satan, he resorted to prayer and fasting.

5.) Helmet of Salvation

.....A variety of helmets were worn by soldiers of different armies. In hand to hand combat, it was a distinct advantage for a soldier to have a helmet which protected not only his head, but also is face, an especially his eyes. A blow to the uncovered head would immediately disable the soldier; therefore, this was one of the most important pieces of armor.

The Discipline related to the Helmet of Salvation:

Rising Early

.....One of Satan's most devastating tactics is to disable us with fear. (False Evidence Appearing Real). If he can bring fear to our minds, we will take our focus off the power and protection of the Lord and lose our will to sustain the battle. By rising early in the morning and having a communion time with the Lord, we renew our minds to what's true of us in Christ and focus on God's power and purposes for us through the day. (Reflection and repentance also). David wrote, "My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto Thee, and I will look up." (Psalm 5: 3)

6.) Sword of the Spirit

.....The first five pieces of armor are defensive; however, the sword is to be uses an offense a weapon. The effectiveness of the sword depended on the hardness of the metal and the sharpness of the edges. The two edged sword was essential in battle because the soldier could wheeled it at the enemy in either direction.

The Discipline related to the Sword of the Spirit:

Using Rhema in Warfare

.....The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God. The Greek term used in this verse for "Word" is not Logos but Rhema. Rhema is Scripture which the Holy Spirit gives us for a particular situation. Jesus demonstrated how to use Rhema when he was tempted in the wilderness. With each temptation, he quoted a verse of Scripture from the Old Testament Logos. ("It is written" or "God says").The disciplines of reading, meditating and memorizing Scripture will provide the basis of receiving Rhema from the Holy Spirit. A wise exercise in spiritual warfare would be to match Rhema with temptations which you anticipate. (Rightly understanding God's Word and the right use of it.)

7.) All Prayer

.....Our second offense a weapon is prayer. "The effectual ferverent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (Makes much power available.) (James 5: 16). The scope of the influence of prayer is extensive: "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all Saints; and for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make know the mystery of the Gospel." (Ephesians 6: 18 -19).

The Discipline related to Ferverent Prayer:

Establishing Priorities

.....Satan is a hinderer of the Saints (see -1 Thessalonians 2: 18). It is our responsibility to determine what is most important in our lives and to choose the things that are excellent. (Good, perfect, and pleasing to God). Ferverent prayer for the salvation of non-believers and for the strengthening of our brothers and sisters ( In Christ) damages Satan's kingdom. Satan will, therefore, do all he can to hinder Christians from engaging in prayer. We can, however, be more than conquerors if we turned Satan's temptations into signals for prayer. This brings victory in a Christians life. Prayer is the battle itself. God's word is the chief weapon. The bottom line is that an unbroken, ongoing relationship with God is the only absolute guarantee of being constantly dressed in the Whole Armor of God, thus producing true freedom. (Fully Renouncing Every Evil Dominion Over Man.)

.....In conclusion, notice that the Armor of God does not protect the back of the Christian. That is because first of all, God has our back, and also our brothers in Christ. Also we are to stand against the wiles of the enemy, not to run from or shy away but to stand. For weapons of our warfare are not carnal but spiritual and mighty in the pulling down of strongholds, warring against principalities and powers and rulers of darkness.

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WHAT GOD HAS SHOWN ME...About Marriage

Good marriages don't just happen. It is not just because you married the right person and got lucky. Good marriages are built on more than passion. They are built on principle.

In the Scriptures, we find the best guidelines and principles for a healthy marriage. God's words and God's principles are never ever outdated...never! They are just as applicable today as they were to ancient Jews living in Israel.

I want to point us to principles God has given us in a place you might not think was intended for marriage. That place is the Ten Commandments, found in Exodus 20.

Let me give you those Ten Commandments. What I would like you to do is spend time reading these carefully, and then take time to pray over each one. Ask God to begin to open your heart to see how these commands could be looked at as principles for marriage. I had a friend who challenged me to do the same, and I was amazed at what I discovered.

You shall have no other gods before Me.

You shall not make for yourself a carved image...

You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain...

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.

You shall not murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

The First Commandment of Marriage: Exclusivity

The first of the Ten Commandments is simply this, as found in Exodus 20:3,

"You shall have no other gods before Me."

What is God saying in this commandment? That He wants to have an exclusive relationship with you. He wants to be your one and only. He will not settle for flavor of the month.

And how appropriate in marriage as well. We are to have an exclusive relationship with our spouse.

It's been said that Henry Ford, on his golden wedding anniversary...50 years of marriage...was asked, "What's the secret of your success in marriage?" And he said, "The secret of my successful marriage is the same secret that I have in business: I stick to the same model."

In traditional wedding vows, the man and woman pledge their devotion until death parts them. For life. There is no competition.

My wife has no competition. I am not shopping for a new model. I do not want to trade in the old model. I will not be shopping in the future. One is all I need.

The Second Commandment of Marriage: Don't Love a Substitute

In the second commandment recorded in Exodus 20:4-6, we are given the second principle for a strong marriage,

"You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments."

God commanded that there be no carved images, whether in heaven, in earth, or in the sea. He wanted to make sure everything was covered. And He said not to bow down to them and worship them. God said, "Do not make images of Me and then worship them. Don not love or worship a substitute for Me. Love Me."

Religion has made pictures, statues, and idols and then called them holy. They are all imitations. They are all substitutes. And in marriage we should have no substitutes either.

Pornography is a substitute. When a man watches pornography, he is loving a substitute. He is directing his passion and his sexuality toward those images. That is a substitute, and he is robbing his wife of that intimacy.

Do not allow any substitute, no matter what it might be, to take the place of intimacy with your spouse.

The Third Commandment of Marriage: Speak Well of Your Mate

Exodus 20:7 gives us our third commandment of marriage,

"You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain."

Many misunderstand the term, in vain. It means empty, meaningless, insincere, not showing due respect.

When we speak flippantly or lightly about someone, we erode our respect for that person. Some people are just far too casual in the way they speak of their spouse, and it erodes your respect for him or her.

In marriage, few things can affect the relationship like words. Words are containers. They can contain love; they can contain hate; they can contain joy; they can contain bitterness.

The book of James says that our tongue is like a rudder on a ship. It will send the ship of your marriage in whatever direction your words go. Some people are on the brink of divorce because they talk divorce. Just listen to the words they say. Are they negative or positive? Critical or encouraging?

Think about what you say. Are you building up your partner? Learn to speak well of your mate. Build them up with your words. Be lavish with your praise. You will be pleased with where those words will take your relationship.

The Fourth Commandment of Marriage: Spend Exclusive Time Together

The fourth commandment, found in Exodus 20:8-11,

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it."

Sabbath means an intermission. It means to put down your work and rest. Take a break. And holy means separate to the Lord. "If you want a long-term relationship with Me," God says, "We have to have time together. I want special time, exclusive time. I want a whole day."

In the same way, in order to have a healthy, growing marriage, husbands and wives need time together...special time, exclusive time, sometimes extravagant time. And I think we all know that if we do not schedule it, it will not happen.

If your marriage is to thrive, you need to spend exclusive time together. You can't build a relationship and not spend time together. It is just not possible.

The Fifth Commandment of Marriage: Honor Your Spouse by Showing How Grateful You Are

The fifth commandment gives us our next principle for a healthy and vibrant marriage. It is found in Exodus 20:12,

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you."

Among other things, God is saying we must be grateful. Generally, parents spend a lot of time, labor, and money...sometimes to the point of radical sacrifice...to give their kids an edge in life.

And it is a tragedy when a child is ungrateful or unthankful. William Shakespeare said, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child." It is very difficult to have a relationship with an ungrateful, selfish person.

"Thank you" are important words to your parents, and an incredibly important phrase in marriage. It is difficult to live with someone who takes you and all of your efforts for granted.

You may be thinking, "I don't say it, but I am grateful in my heart. I truly am!" Well, hooray for you. You are blessed because in your heart you know you are grateful. But it does your spouse no good if you do not vocalize it.

If you do not demonstrate your gratitude, I doubt if you are really grateful because Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." If it is not being expressed, chances are it is not truly there.

Maybe you think you don't have a lot to be grateful for. But there must be something you can say "thank you" for. There is something you can praise your mate for. Look for those things, and accentuate the positive.

Take time today to express thanks to your spouse in some way...through an action, through a card, through words. That is how you honor your mate.

The Sixth Commandment of Marriage: Don't Destroy Your Spouse But Learn to be Gentle

The sixth commandment God gave to Israel in Exodus 20:13,
"You shall not murder."

While you might think this commandment is not too applicable, I believe it is vital. It is telling you not to destroy your spouse!

Jesus helps us understand this principle in Matthew 5. He said, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.' But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment."

Jesus went right to the root of murder: anger and hatred. If you are going to have a good, healthy, lasting marriage, you need to learn to be gentle. People who are easily angered...who are violent or have an explosive temper...destroy relationships.

If you are dating someone who blows up easily, you ought to take it as a warning sign. If they get mad at things at the drop of a hat, that anger can be turned on you very easily.

Anger erodes relationships. If you have a hot temper, get it under control, or the devil will control you through it.

Another way anger is expressed is by going stone cold...using silence and angry moodiness to punish your mate. Again, not a healthy thing for a marriage. If you anger quickly and forgive slowly, you are a hard person to live with. Work at being quick to forgive, and make the controlling of your anger a serious matter of prayer. God will help you.

If you do not master your temper, it will master you. And it will not only decay and destroy a marriage relationship, it will harm every other meaningful relationship you have in life.

We're going to skip the Seventh Commandment here -- "Do Not Commit Adultery"

-- to address it in a more in-depth manner

The Eighth Commandment of Marriage: Be a Person of Integrity

Exodus 20:15 gives us the eighth commandment for marriage,
You shall not steal.

You may be wondering how stealing applies to marriage. Simple. Not to steal is to be a person of integrity.

If you are always cheating or cutting corners, it will be hard for your spouse to respect you. Your uprightness should make your marriage partner feel proud. Your spouse and your family ought to testify of your integrity. This is really one of the things at the heart of a good marriage.

If you are married to somebody, and you know they cheat their customers, it is just hard to respect that person. You cannot respect someone who does not have integrity.

This is a big issue that many people fly right by. But it is vital to a healthy and vibrant marriage because it is hard to fully give yourself to someone who does not have integrity.

If you find that your spouse is holding back, if you feel like he or she does not respect you, take a look inside and see if you are compromising with your integrity. Do you cheat on your taxes? Do you tell that "little white lie" to protect yourself or gain an advantage?
Do you represent yourself one way, when in fact in your heart you believe something totally different? Are you like the man Solomon speaks of in Proverbs 23:7?

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. "Eat and drink!" he says to you, but his heart is not with you.

If this is an issue in your life, take it to God today. He will help you become the person of integrity He desires you to be. And when you do, you will find your spouse will come to respect you, and your marriage will be strengthened!

The Ninth Commandment of Marriage: Be Truthful

The ninth commandment for marriage speaks to the heart of any marriage, trust. It is found in Exodus 20:16,

"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

Someone who would lie about their neighbor, for whatever reason, is not going to make a good marriage partner. Honesty and trust are at the heart of a good marriage.

If you take advantage of people for your own gain, speaking untruthfully to get ahead, you are not a person to be trusted. And you ultimately are the loser.

I am reminded of the guy who was in a fender bender, and he faked an injury, pretended like he hurt his arm and his shoulder. As a result, the poor little lady who had run into his car was subjected to a truly horrible situation. She was grilled by attorneys, had to give depositions, and ended up in court.

But this guy continued trying to take her for all she was worth. He didn't care because he knew she had money. He didn't care if she had to give up her house. He was looking at an opportunity to get rich.The attorney for the lady's insurance company put him on the stand and said, "I would like to know, since the accident, since you injured your arm and your shoulder, how far can you now raise your arm?"With great pain etched on his face, he said, "Well...'bout here. That's it. Just to here." Then the attorney asked, "Well, how far could you lift it before the accident?" The guy responded, raising his arm with ease, "I could lift it up to here."
Needless to say, he lost.

Anyone who is not truthful will ultimately lose. And if your spouse will lie to someone else, he or she will lie to you.

The Tenth Commandment of Marriage: Be Content with What You Have

Today we come to the final commandment for marriage. That commandment is based on the tenth commandment given to the nation of Israel in Exodus 20:17,

"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

This command is very direct. Do not covet. Don't be discontent with what you have. Do not make what you don't have the focus of your life. Accentuate what you do have and what God has blessed you and your spouse with.

You do this by celebrating your husband's or wife's strengths and giftings rather than thinking, "Oh, I wish he was this way," or, "I wish she had that."

I can build a house from the ground up; and if anything mechanical breaks down, I can fix it.

While I am a Mr. Fix-It, there are other things that I am not good at. I am so grateful that Lora wanted to pull those things out of me and give wings to the gifts, ( In Christ) she saw that I do have. And I want to do the same thing for her.

You will always get into trouble if you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Just water your own grass. Because on the other side of the fence, it's just Astroturf anyway.

I struggled with drugs while searching for answers. It was not until I was 40 years of age(13 AUGUST, 2008) and thinking about my 3 blessed children and my soulmate that the Lord showed me the powerful reality of a relationship with Christ. Since August 13, 2008, the Lord has opened my eyes to the Answers (FREEDOM IN CHRIST) which I will prophetically fulfill in Christ, spreading the gospel to the nations around the world, blowing the horn, with a clear sounding word.

When God made man, He said it is good. But then He said, "It is not good that he is alone. I am going to make a helper suitable for him." And the Bible says God took one of Adam's ribs, and He formed a woman, Eve, and brought her to the man.

God did not take four or five ribs and say, "Okay, Adam, here is Eve, and here is Lois, and here is Samantha, and here is Rachel." No, it was just one. And to have a healthy marriage relationship, that is it.

My dream is not up in the sky or up in the stars when I look up, it is right here in my heart. (In Christ)

I am committed for life. An exclusive relationship. I am not shopping, not even window-shopping. One God. One wife. That is enough.

I LOVE YOU LORA, YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND FOREVER- ED

Ambassador for Christ
Pastor Edward Hajj